Female Ejaculation
Dry, Dribble or Drastic? To Each Her Own
Yes. It is true. Women can and do ejaculate. Just like men’s ejaculate, this liquid is associated with intense sexual pleasure and comes in varying quantities and with wide-ranging intensity.
The fluid itself is similar to that of male prostastic fluids and as in the case of men, sometimes ejaculation and orgasm occur simultaneously and sometimes they are separate experiences. For some women, ejaculation can be intensely pleasurable and evident, while for others their experience may range from discomfort to indifference. For other women, ejaculation can go unnoticed during sexual intercourse. Each of these experiences is normal and healthy. Our bodies are unique and just as each person reacts differently to the foods we consume, we also respond uniquely to sexual stimuli and touch.
Some women ejaculate easily, others hold back and others have learned to facilitate ejaculation through G-spot stimulation and bearing down with their PC muscles. Despite controversy around the G-spot, it does exist. Its stimulation may not be intensely pleasurable for all women, but the area on the urethral sponge definitely exists and contains erectile tissue that can be a source of sexual pleasure.
Many women hold back their ejaculate by tensing their PC muscles out of fear that they may spray urine during sex. If this concerns you, consider emptying your bladder before sex play.
And bear in mind that ejaculation it not a sideshow trick. If it happens, it happens. If not, no worries! Enjoy your body’s sexual response and rest assured that there are no “better” or “authentic” orgasms. You define your own sexual pleasure however you might experience it.
If you want to experiment with ejaculation, tone your PC muscles through daily Kegel exercises. During sex, try stimulating the G-spot by reaching into your vagina and feeling the ridge-like area on the upper vaginal wall. If you become aroused and are nearing orgasm, try bearing down or pushing out your PC muscles and see what happens. Some women describe their ejaculation as a small dribble and others squirt more powerfully.
For many women, intercourse does not offer enough sexual stimulation to produce orgasm or ejaculation, so try it out on your own first to learn to recognize this aspect of your sexual response. If you are concerned about urinating, you will likely tense up and avoid bearing down, so try to let yourself go and place a towel beneath you if you are worried about the mess.
I receive many inquiries about female ejaculation and have been reluctant to write about it, because I do not want to add to the pressure that women (and men) already experience in the bedroom. So let me reiterate that all sex should exclude pressure. Great lovers focus on sensations and feelings as opposed to goals and performance.
If you experiment with G-spot stimulation and do not enjoy it or never experience ejaculation, that is just fine. Appreciate the time you have taken to learn about your body and your unique likes and dislikes. Orgasms feel great with or without ejaculation.
Have fun and always practice safer sex.
More About Hand Jobs: Part I from Woman.ca
This post is intended for readers over the age of 18.
Hand jobs are not just for teenagers. Though I’ve written about the art of sensuous touch in the past, each time I visit Desire Resort and Spa, I pick up a few new tricks from the very adventurous and experienced couples who attend my workshops. I thought I’d post a few thoughts on how to make the most of lending a hand in the bedroom, at the theatre or under the restaurant table. (Please abide by local laws.)
As always, I’ll preface this posting by reminding readers that every guy is different (even if they all seem the same), so there are no sure-fire ways to bring him to the heights ecstasy. All I can offer are a few techniques to get you started. You can practice on a carrot or other vegetable, but don’t get too hung up on technique. I always tell my workshops participants to do what feels good for them as opposed to focusing on my instructions. If you “screw up” and twist to the left instead of the right, don’t worry about it – the penis will still like it.
Consider beginning your sensuous hand job with a nice slow pace. Though our first instinct may be to grab a tight hold of a penis as soon as it begins to stir, a huge part of sexual enjoyment is in the build-up. By taking time to explore the entire body, we draw the blood to the surface and can promote full-body orgasms. And though the penis does love to get some hands-on, mouth-on, tongue-on, breasts-on (you get the picture) attention, good things come to dicks who wait.
So if you have a few extra minutes, take some time to explore his erogenous zones from head to toe. Touch, kiss, blow, caress, rub and grind your body all over his and pay attention to his response to identify his hot spots. You can return to these spots right before or during orgasm to intensify the sensation. You might consider caressing his body from head to crotch and then from foot to crotch while gently brushing against his good stuff with your breasts, hair or fingers as you get him riled up.
Once you’re ready to get down to business, you might begin by gently fluttering your fingers over his inner thighs, scrotum and penis. Use lots and lots lube for hand jobs. This is probably the most important piece of advice I can offer. If you blindfold him and use lots of lube and varied pressure, he should not be able to discern whether you are using your hands, mouth or vagina to pleasure his member.
I describe some starter techniques below, but you can play with them to make them your own:
The Firestarter – Lube up both palms and gently rub them over the shaft of the penis as though you are warming your hands over the fire. Lube is essential to this technique, so be generous in your application. Breathe gently on his lubricated shaft to produce a tingling sensation.
The Basic Grip – Use your non-dominant hand to grip the base of the penis by forming a tight okay sign using your index finger and thumb. This can function like a cock ring to trap blood in the penis and intensify sensation. Use the other lubricated hand to stroke up and down the shaft and apply pressure to the ridge and the frenulum.
The Other Woman – This is the backhand grip. Turn your dominant hand upside down as though you are signalling a thumbs-down sign. Stroke up and down the shaft to offer a varied sensation from the traditional grip.
The Multi-Tasker – Use one hand to perform the Basic Grip and the other hand to firmly rub up and down the bottom half of his shaft using lots of lube. If he doesn’t like being gripped at the base, use your other hand to massage his testicles and perineum. Wrap your well-lubricated lips tightly around his coronal ridge and twist in a circular motion with your mouth as you apply pressure to the ridge. (I know this post was supposed to cover manual stimulation, but hand-jobs and blow-jobs don’t have to be mutually exclusive.)
Check back for Part II in which we’ll cover The Basket Weave, The Twist and Shout and The I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vagina.
Have fun, experiment and always practice safer sex!