Have Better Sex With Condoms
Research out of the UK indicates that more women are opting to use condoms as their primary method of contraception. This is great news! Not only do condoms reduce the risk of unplanned pregnancies, but they also offer significant protection against HIV and sexually transmitted infections.
But condoms are not only important in terms of safety. They also enhance pleasure! Men who wear condoms can benefit from slightly harder, larger erections. Condoms can function like a cock-ring to constrict blood and trap it inside the penile shaft and keep it firm. Accordingly, they can also help men to last longer (in an erect state) during a hot and heavy sex session, which works out well for those guys who have partners who may take longer to finish off. This also benefits men who often experience intensified orgasmic response with prolonged sex play. For those looking for a little more stimulation, you can put a bit of water-based lube in the tip of the condom to enhance sensation.
Condoms can also increase sexual enjoyment for women, as they now come with a variety of options including ribbing, bumps and other features designed for pleasure. Some even come with a vibrating ring that can strengthen both the male and female sexual response and there are lots of fun ways to put on a condom. Using your mouth to place it on the tip of the penis and your tongue and lips to roll it down the shaft is not only super sexy, but also very easy to do. If you feel intimidated at first, try it out on a carrot or dildo. The women at my workshops are always surprised at the ease with which they are able to perform this sensual technique. And don’t think you need to come up for air as soon as the rubber has made its way down the rod. While you’re down there, feel free to explore a little and have some fun.
When using condoms, be sure to use lots of water-based lube to reduce friction and intensify pleasure. I love Aqualaria’s eco-friendly, organic brand that is produced in Canada. Lubricant is another sexy and safer part of sex that can be used and applied in an infinite number of fun and erotic ways. Try lubing up his manhood with your hands, mouth, breasts or face and see where the exploration leads you. Take turns at this and let him apply lube to all of your erogenous zones using creative parts of his body. Be creative, experiment and always practice safer sex.
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Does Size Matter?
I don’t have a penis and I’ve never wanted one. As a woman, I’m subject to impossible pressures with regard to my physical makeup, but I can’t even begin to fathom the anxieties associated with penis size. While it may not factor heavily along the path to enlightenment and it doesn’t seem to matter to most women, men are socialized to obsess about the size of their penises. Joking, bragging, worrying, strategic shaving, lying and measuring are common symptoms of this cultural fixation that reduces men to the size of their members.
Studies of men who worry that their penises are too small overwhelmingly indicate that their anxieties are unfounded. They often underestimate their own size or overestimate perceptions of normal penis size. More importantly, they miscalculate the degree to which their sexual partners desire a larger penis. Research indicates that 85 percent of women are happy with their partner’s penis size in comparison to only 55 percent of men who report satisfaction with their own size.
Studies that have attempted to determine and reproduce estimations for average penis size have resulted in a mixed bag of results due to challenges of methodology. Who should do the measuring? What measurement instrument is most reliable? Where should the measurement begin? What position should the penis take during measurement? Despite these limitations, a review of over fifty studies suggests that the average length of an erect penis is approximately 5.5 inches. Self-measurements tend to be higher than those conducted by researchers.
While some men are “show-ers” and have larger flaccid penises that expand proportionally less when erect, others are considered “growers” who have smaller flaccid penises that grow much larger during erection. There is a much wider range in flaccid penis size making it an unreliable predictor of its full length during erection.
But does size matter? From a sexological perspective, penis size has very little impact on the sexual pleasure of the penis-bearer or his partner. For men having vaginal sex with women, the shape and size of the vagina do not require large objects of insertion for pleasure and a well placed penis, finger, dildo or other object can produce far more pleasure than an oversized rod. In a relaxed state, the vagina is a short potential space with walls that gently touch and close together and the richest nerve endings are located near the opening. The g-spot, which can produce intense response and orgasm for some women, can generally be stimulated by any object of two inches in length. However, vaginas also come in different sizes, so it may be a matter of finding the perfect fit.
More importantly, the clitoris, that wonderful pleasure organ through which most women achieve orgasm, is not located in the vagina. A penis, finger, feather, tongue or lips can easily access the clit without spanning the eight inch porn-standard. Many women who love sex can attest to the fact that penetration, particularly with a larger object, is way overrated.
A larger penis is definitely not preferable for anal sex, as the anal canal is short and the sphincter muscles are rich in nerve endings that can be intensely stimulated regardless of size. For those having anal sex with men, the prostate (the male pleasure organ) is easily accessible within a few inches of the anal opening, so a penis or finger of just a few inches in length will more than do the trick to massage this sweet spot.
Women are not unaffected by our cultural obsession with big penises. We too have been socialized to associate the penis with virility, but we’re neither envious (thanks anyway Freud) nor reverent of the member itself. Most women who have sex with penises want partners who are attentive and know how to use their entire bodies as sources of pleasure as opposed to limiting their efforts to the penis itself.
There is no denying that our cultural linkage of masculinity with phallic mass has created a framework in which size matters; however, its significance is primarily unrelated to sexual pleasure and more closely tied with gendered notions of performance and differentiation. Yes. Size matters insofar as masculinity is associated with displays of power, but its impact on sex is as diminutively significant as other forms of male exhibition like fast cars or a padded bank roll.
Penis size may matter if one’s only modus operandi involves penetrative, thrusting sex; however, if this is the unfortunate case, another eight inches would do nothing to compensate for what’s lacking in skill and creativity. Size may affect one’s subjective arousal (what happens in our heads), but is less important to the physiological reactions that occur between our legs and (hopefully) beyond.