This post is intended for readers over the age of 18.

Hand jobs are not just for teenagers. Though I’ve written about the art of sensuous touch in the past, each time I visit Desire Resort and Spa, I pick up a few new tricks from the very adventurous and experienced couples who attend my workshops. I thought I’d post a few thoughts on how to make the most of lending a hand in the bedroom, at the theatre or under the restaurant table. (Please abide by local laws.)

As always, I’ll preface this posting by reminding readers that every guy is different (even if they all seem the same), so there are no sure-fire ways to bring him to the heights ecstasy. All I can offer are a few techniques to get you started. You can practice on a carrot or other vegetable, but don’t get too hung up on technique. I always tell my workshops participants to do what feels good for them as opposed to focusing on my instructions.  If you “screw up” and twist to the left instead of the right, don’t worry about it – the penis will still like it.

Consider beginning your sensuous hand job with a nice slow pace. Though our first instinct may be to grab a tight hold of a penis as soon as it begins to stir, a huge part of sexual enjoyment is in the build-up. By taking time to explore the entire body, we draw the blood to the surface and can promote full-body orgasms. And though the penis does love to get some hands-on, mouth-on, tongue-on, breasts-on (you get the picture) attention, good things come to dicks who wait.

So if you have a few extra minutes, take some time to explore his erogenous zones from head to toe. Touch, kiss, blow, caress, rub and grind your body all over his and pay attention to his response to identify his hot spots. You can return to these spots right before or during orgasm to intensify the sensation. You might consider caressing his body from head to crotch and then from foot to crotch while gently brushing against his good stuff with your breasts, hair or fingers as you get him riled up.

Once you’re ready to get down to business, you might begin by gently fluttering your fingers over his inner thighs, scrotum and penis. Use lots and lots lube for hand jobs. This is probably the most important piece of advice I can offer. If you blindfold him and use lots of lube and varied pressure, he should not be able to discern whether you are using your hands, mouth or vagina to pleasure his member.

I describe some starter techniques below, but you can play with them to make them your own:

The Firestarter – Lube up both palms and gently rub them over the shaft of the penis as though you are warming your hands over the fire. Lube is essential to this technique, so be generous in your application. Breathe gently on his lubricated shaft to produce a tingling sensation.

The Basic Grip – Use your non-dominant hand to grip the base of the penis by forming a tight okay sign using your index finger and thumb. This can function like a cock ring to trap blood in the penis and intensify sensation. Use the other lubricated hand to stroke up and down the shaft and apply pressure to the ridge and the frenulum.

The Other Woman – This is the backhand grip. Turn your dominant hand upside down as though you are signalling a thumbs-down sign. Stroke up and down the shaft to offer a varied sensation from the traditional grip.

The Multi-Tasker – Use one hand to perform the Basic Grip and the other hand to firmly rub up and down the bottom half of his shaft using lots of lube. If he doesn’t like being gripped at the base, use your other hand to massage his testicles and perineum. Wrap your well-lubricated lips tightly around his coronal ridge and twist in a circular motion with your mouth as you apply pressure to the ridge. (I know this post was supposed to cover manual stimulation, but hand-jobs and blow-jobs don’t have to be mutually exclusive.)

Check back for Part II in which we’ll cover The Basket Weave, The Twist and Shout and The I Can’t Believe It’s Not Vagina.

Have fun, experiment and always practice safer sex!



Start slowly by circling the entrance of her vagina with one well lubricated finger. Gently insert it into her vagina bearing in mind that deep penetration is not necessary, as the entrance to the vagina is most rich in nerve endings. Try moving your inserted finger in small, gentle circular motions to see how she responds.

In Part I of this series, we left off between the legs after a slow full-body caress and tease. Now we’ll explore a few more approaches to sensuous touch to build up tension and intensify orgasmic response. Be reminded that this is not a perfect recipe for success, as every woman is unique. Some will [...]

This post is intended for readers over the age of 18.
Clients are often looking for sure-fire ways to bring their partners to mind-blowing, earth-shattering orgasms. And though a quick survey of women’s and men’s magazine covers may suggest otherwise, there are no guaranteed tricks that will work each and every time for each and every [...]

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Women want sex. That’s right. Today’s empowered, educated, confident women are not afraid to embrace their love of sex. It feels great to say it and do it!
A study conducted at the University of Florida found that women and men in committed relationships reject gender stereotypes and embrace similar attitudes toward sexual pleasure.
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The CAT is a basic modification of the missionary position that involves the man riding up on a woman’s pelvis so they can rock and rub the clitoris against the base of his penis and/or pelvic bone. This is how the CAT breaks down:

1. The woman lies on her back and the man lies on top while he inserts his penis into the vagina.
2. He then shifts his body upwards along hers (he can rest his hands/arms beside her head) so that the base of his penis and pelvic bone press firmly against her clitoral hood and pelvic bone.

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